An Everlasting Love
Author: Christine McLean
With all of the R & B and Soul songs that permeate our airwaves it’s no surprise that people develop a warped perception of love. Many of the love songs we listen to focus on feelings, fantasy and a strong physical attraction between two people. Think about songs such as “Said I Loved You But I Lied” by Michael Bolton and “No Air” by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. There is a heavy emphasis on strong feelings between two people and a person having his or her life revolving around another person. Is this really love? What happens when the feelings are gone or when the person does not meet your expectations?
I believe that love is synonymous with commitment. Yes, it does often evolve out of an attraction between two people, but it is much more than attraction. 1 Corinthians 13 states explicitly what love should be…”patient, kind, not envious, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, is truthful, protects, trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” How many of us truly experience a love like this with our spouses? Are we worried about who is calling him on his phone or where he is when we aren’t around? Are we always getting upset with him about the simplest of things? Do we share our heart and soul with him and trust that he will treasure them? Your answers to these questions will help you to know if you truly are in love and if you will be able to continue to enjoy your spouse till you’re both old and grey.
If you’re already having problems with your marriage and wondering if it can be salvaged or if you will ever be able to find true love with your husband again, I encourage you to follow these tips.
Come Out of Your Fantasy
Marriage isn’t a fairy tale. When you realize this you will develop more realistic expectations of your spouse. Understand that he is human too and will make mistakes. Learn to love him not only for everything that is right about him, but also everything that is wrong about him. John Legend’s “All of Me” is currently my favourite love song and I especially love the lines that say,
All of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Learn to give your all to your spouse even when it is very difficult and you feel that you aren’t getting the same response in return. Accept him for who he is and view him as who you will not only start a new chapter of your life with, but also finish it with. Love is hard work and you have to be willing to put in the blood sweat and tears and hope and trust that he will do the same.
Learn to Forgive
From the simple to the major mistakes, learn to forgive and let go. I am not discrediting the fact that there are some things that are much harder to forgive than others. When he has a lover on the side, how do you deal with that? When he spends all of the family’s savings on some high risk investment, what do you do? You forgive and seek counseling to mend your relationship. Of course you hold him accountable, but you should also make an effort to understand his motivation for doing the things he does. Trials only serve to make us stronger and if you are able to weather these storms in your relationship, it will become stronger than it ever could be.
Accept Each Other’s Physical Beauty at Each Stage of Life
As we age, our features change. We become wrinkled and the shape of our bodies change. When you are able to look at your husband and still see him as the sexy man you married many years ago and when he is able to look at you and see the beautiful woman he married, your relationship will be beautiful and filled with a great sense of appreciation for each other. When your man truly understands that you won’t always be the hot twenty something year old you are now and accepts that, even if his eyes wander he won’t venture into dangerous territory. This is a real demonstration of true love.
So, don’t give up on your true love. Learn to accept the reality of your relationship, forgive and accept the physical changes of each other and you will be able to love each other till the end.